Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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