I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
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