remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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