You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
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