Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
