you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
whose parrot is this?
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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