There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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