Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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