I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
