i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
