i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I am full of burrito and curiosity
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
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