I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
We talked him into tasing himself.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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