Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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