a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
