You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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