So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Randomize
