brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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