it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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