i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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