I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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