Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
if only i could text you this smell
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
