I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
