and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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