I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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