I don't think brook has ever known best
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
