angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
