Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
ttyl tear gas
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
