Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
