Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
