i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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