Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
