I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
