yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
