his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
