ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
