just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
