so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
