can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
