Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
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