Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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