its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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