Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
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