To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
