I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
