Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
