this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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