Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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