physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
