i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
her facebook's as public as her vagina
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Randomize
