So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
