Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
