I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
