If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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